“Do not forsake me when I am old.” Psalm 71 : 9
What do you see, nurses?
What are you thinking when you’re looking at me?
A grumpy old man, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice: “I do wish you’d try!”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a sock or a shoe.
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding the long day to fill.
Is that what you’re thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes because you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
while I do your bidding and eat at your will.
I’m a small child with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters who love one another.
A young teenager I am with wings on his feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon in his twenties my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
In my mid-twenties now, I have young of my own
Who need me to guide them and secure a good home.
A man in his thirties, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty, my young ones have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me to see I don’t mourn.
At fifty, once more, babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children my loved one and me.
But dark days are upon me for my wife is now dead.
I look at the future and shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young ones of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man, and nature is cruel,
It’s jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, strength and vigor depart,
There is now a void where I once had a heart.
But inside this old body a young man still dwells,
And now and again this faint heart swells.
I remember the joys and I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again.
I think of the years, all too few gone so fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes good people, open and see
Not a grumpy old man .
Look closer, and see ME.
When you next meet an old person whom you might brush aside, Look carefully within at the soul inside.
Remember, one day you will be there too.
—Fr. Hugh Duffy
11 Comments
Jeannie Otto
Absolutely heartwarmingly beautiful!
Elisabeth R.
I wish this inspiring poem would be posted in every nursing home, and the staff is required to read it when they clock in. May be it would spark a little empathy and compassion for their residents.
Hugh Duffy
I grew up at a time when the elderly, Grandmothers and Grandfathers, were the heart of the home and an inspiration to the neighborhood. What has happened to our culture that has robbed the homes of our senior members?
Bonnie Vadacchino
Father, I’m an Old Man’s wife. He never really got to be an old man, but I watch my kids teaching their kids to do things just the way they learned from their “Old Man”. I know he’s proud of them. I thought I was long past grieving, but this brings fresh tears to my eyes. Thank you, Father. Pax et Bonum.
Hugh Duffy
Lovely tribute, Bonnie. Blessings!
Joanie
I too am getting old and its a lonely frightening experience that sneaks up so quietly and takes no prisoners. Most of my friends and most of my brothers and sisters have passed on. New people come into my life but it’s not the same. I appreciate still being here, but I look forward to the great reunion. I am taking care of my bed ridden husband
with help, but he has no life….just his memories.
Hugh Duffy
Joanie: I’m deeply touched by your experience of loving care for your bed-ridden husband. It’s hard losing our loved ones, especially those we depended on so much, spiritually, emotionally and socially. How the Lord must love you, Joanie. Your’s is a lonely road, but you’re not alone.
chick
Thank you, Hugh. I will laugh a little longer at and with Life.
Hugh Duffy
Spoken like a trouper, cousin Chick. Laugh and the world laughs with you, has its place, but remember too “Blessed are those who mourn.” Empathy goes a long way to sooth a breaking heart.
LarryFrey
Reminds me of Neil Young’s, Old Man!!
Hugh Duffy
I didn’t know Neil young wrote a song: The Old Man. I found it on YouTube and liked it. Thanks Larry for your comment.