“Did you see what she was wearing at Mass?” “I can’t believe he calls himself a Christian.” 

How easily these thoughts slip into our minds and conversations. The human tendency to judge others seems almost instinctive, doesn’t it? Yet few things are more contrary to the gospel of Christ—or more damaging to our spiritual lives—than the habit of passing judgment on our brothers and sisters.

We are called to a higher standard: one that balances Justice and Mercy. But how do we live this calling in a world that thrives on criticism and comparisons?

“What goes around comes around.” This timeless wisdom finds its echo in Scripture. When we point an accusing finger at another, three fingers point back at ourselves. This  reality symbolizes a profound spiritual truth: judgment reveals more about the one judging than the judged.

In the Gospel of Matthew, we read: “Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye, but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove that splinter from your eye,’ while the wooden beam is in your eye? You hypocrite, remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3–5 ). The “splinter” represents minor flaws we eagerly identify in others, while the “beam” signifies the substantial failings we conveniently overlook in ourselves. This scripture reveals the hypocrisy inherent in judging others while remaining blind to our own shortcomings. Quickness to judge often stems from spiritual blindness and pride.

Modern psychology uses the term, projection, for what Scripture long identified: our tendency to attribute to others the very faults we ourselves possess but fail to acknowledge. This unfortunate perversity reveals an uncomfortable truth: what irritates us most in others often reflects unresolved struggles within ourselves.

Pope Francis addressed this human tendency eloquently: “Who am I to judge? If a person… seeks God and has good will, who am I to judge?” Behind our judgments, it seems, lies a deep need to bolster our sense of self by diminishing others.

When Jesus encountered the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11), He demonstrated Mercy perfectly. He neither condemned her person nor condoned her sin, but rather offered mercy while calling her to transformation: “Neither do I condemn you. Go, and from now on, do not sin anymore.”

There’s nothing wrong with judging fairly the correctness or falsity of another’s actions. This is as it should be as long as you don’t condemn the person, for every person is in need of mercy. 

How then can we cultivate a non-judgmental spirit in our world of social media that pedals fake news, half truths, and endless criticism of others?  This daily onslaught of negativity is so pervasive in our society that it can cause emotional, psychological and, indeed, mental harm. Thus, I would like to propose: adopting a day of fasting from all social media, a kind of ‘digital Sabbath’- one day a week free from the judgement-saturated environment of social media.

Instead of social media, embrace authentic connection with others. Spend quality time with friends without digital distractions. Go to the beach if you can. Read a good book. Enjoy the beauty of nature, take a long walk in the park. Practice the art of contemplation: When you catch yourself judging someone, immediately offer a prayer for their well being and happiness. Be yourself.

Judging others binds not only those we judge but ourselves as well. It entangles our hearts in negativity and distances us from mercy which we desperately need. As James 4:11–12 reminds us: “Do not speak evil of one another, brothers…There is one lawgiver…. Who then are you to judge your neighbor?”

When you release the burden of judgment, you free yourself to become the child of God who loves you and everyone else, one and all. The next time you feel that familiar urge to judge rising within you, pause and reflect: ‘the person before me is loved by God, carrying burdens I may never understand, and deserving of the same mercy I also hope to receive.’ 

May we all have the courage to remove the beam from our own eyes, that we might see each other as God sees us.

—Fr. Hugh Duffy, Ph.D.