Monday, November 15, 2010

The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 16:23

St. Peter was not the kind of person to hold much of anything in. He blurted out his innermost thoughts and, in today’s gospel, he is having second thoughts about Jesus’ mission. For Peter, the notion of a suffering messiah was a bitter pill to swallow. Like the prophets of old, who also struggled with their difficult vocation, St. Peter can be excused for dithering a little. From the example of Peter, we learn that we are not the only ones who have second thoughts. Our faith can be tested and sometimes we feel ‘duped”, but then it becomes like a fire burning in the heart. The doubt we once felt, leads to deeper faith.

St. Peter learned, after his initial burst of doubt, that the way of the cross is also the way to the fulfillment of God’s will and to the fulfillment of his own life.

“Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”

Experience tells us over and over again that in losing our lives we gain life; in letting go we grow. Nonetheless, many would rather not accept this challenge. In his memoir, Phillip Van Renssellaer reflects on his past as one of the ‘elite’ idle rich who surrendered his life “to empty games and parties” and abandoned “life’s real struggle.” He would rather not let go of the urge “to pleasure (himself) around the clock.” His life was empty and he could not discover his real inner self because he had no sense of vocation. He finally found his true self and his vocation in helping the needy.

Give your whole self over to this task of discovering your vocation. It is the message of today’s gospel. Give yourself over to the life of the spirit rather than surrendering yourself to the passing attractions of the world.

St. Peter, to be sure, had his moments of doubt but he learnt that God’s ways were not man’s ways. In the end, God won out and His love triumphed over St. Peter’s doubts.

Like St. Peter, we are tempted to equate our own selfish desires with God’s will; we tend to judge not by God’s standards, but by man’s. This is all too human. Today’s gospel invites us to think again; to resist the temptation of Satan to put our own selfish interests before God’s will. Our lives are too precious to be wasted, selfishly. Ask God to give you the strength to embrace life’s real struggle by discovering your vocation and responding to it.

Fr. Hugh Duffy