The Gospel of Matthew, chapter 18: 21-22

Have you ever noticed that the closer we live to other people the more we sometimes hurt them? We live closer to our families than anyone, yet we can hurt them more than anyone else. Next to family are our immediate neighbors and then our fellow workers. Not only are we inclined to hurt all these people; they, in turn, are prone to hurt us. A hurt from someone close destroys confidence and trust. Today’s scripture is about what we should do when we get hurt. We are told about forgiveness: the greatest and the most difficult challenge. Unless we forgive, God will not be able to forgive us. It is that simple. When you read what Jesus said to Peter, ask yourself, “Whom can I not forgive?”

Most problems between people are not one-sided. Usually, there is hurt on both sides. We might want to forgive but the other person might not want to be reconciled. What do we do then? Well, we can sincerely repent of our wrong doing and receive God’s forgiveness, thus putting reconciliation with our neighbor in escrow, as it were, until our former friend is ready to receive it. God makes this possible. His forgiveness is ever ready to slip into our hearts as soon as we are ready to receive it. No one can do more than God. If you have forgiven from your heart, be at peace. When others are ready to be forgiven, the rupture will be mended, and reconciliation will take place. Until then, know that you have done all you can, just as God himself can do no more.

We have a wonderful English expression, “nursing a grudge.” Think of what it means. A grudge is a negative emotion that is about to die but we will not let it. By nursing a grudge, we become a prisoner to our own anger; protecting it, loving it, coddling it, giving it every bad medication we can find to keep it alive. Common sense should tell us that this is only a waste of time and energy.

Jesus offers us the grace of forgiveness and reconciliation; it would be foolish to refuse such a life-empowering gift. When He says you must forgive “seventy times seven times,” He wants us to stop nursing a grudge; to let it go; and to forgive from the heart. This is what the Lord means by forgiving “seventy times seven times.”

Fr. Hugh Duffy